There are times of when certain people have major conflicts. You may want to do certain things in which you will regret for the long term even though in the moment it seems gratifying. Even in the effect of mental torement, You have to realize what you want to do in a negative outcome isn't worth your time or your energy. Why not focus on doing what you love instead what you don't want.Why not put your focus on what you and where you want to be.